Go to Any Lengths

When I came into the rooms, I would hear, are you willing to go to any lenghts to get this. I hear my first sponsor use it as a contract with me. A way to remind me that I need to take this journey seriously or he would not be able to help me. I did that. 

As my journal grows in maturely. I discover some depth to the statement of “will I go to any lengths” and I will use it from the three mentioned phrases and hopefully grow deeper with understanding. 

58.3 If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps.

76.3 Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.

79.1 Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience,

What does it mean to me?

After reading and contrasting the three passages. I now see progress in a spiritual way. At first, when this alcoholic came into the rooms and I begin to work the steps. I was told to read the book in order to give me the steps in order. 

We are all exposed to Chapter 5 early, it is read in about all of the meetings. The first reference is on page 58, is a decision (no action required) wanting what recovered alcoholics have. Then, on page 76, after step 9’s instructions, I then agreed to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. This is reflective of the decision I made (step 3) then doing the work or action (step 4-9) required by me on completing the steps. On page 79, I am well into the description of this new spiritual life, and this passage is telling me about finding and using this new spiritual experience.

How does it apply to me?

I want a deeper spiritual experience. It is that simple. I want to be comfortable with me and a deep dive into the Big Book is parialement to expanding my relationship with God. 

What is the invitation?

I make the decision and did the work, today I will continue to do even more work!

Step 3 in First Person

My sponsor, Henry, asked me to read this text out loud. The change is from 3rd person, (we, us) to first person (I, me) starting after the A, B, C’s (page 60.2) to the end of page 63. The AA text is in the 3rd person, so he has me read it out loud in the first person. Below is what I have changed in the text to read the text in the first person. The part that I changed in the brackets [ ]. I also emphasized the deity references and pronouns in red.

Continue reading

Facebook Group Pages

Facebook is a wonderful platform to connect with friends and other members of A.A., (with caution). I do not have to mention that so of the social connection comes with a price. That price might be your anonymity. Are you willing to take the chance to be exposed or risk exposing someone else? Consider, for example, you are sober for 60 days, and you mentioned it in a post and all your A.A. friends give you congratulations. That seems fine, but what if you also friend someone from work? People believe that a Friend request on Facebook is from a friend, sometimes it is, but sometimes it is not. Think about what you post. Are you comfortable with every “friend” knowing your successes and or your failures?

Continue reading

Step 7 – Humbly Asked Him to Remove Our Shortcomings

“My Humility Can Kick Your Humility’s Ass” — some silly little humor about humility. What makes the joke funny is that humility is a subject that one cannot obtain and then talk about obtaining, at least about talking in the first person. However, we do want to make progress on that goal, or to attain some level of humility. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions states it is the founding principle of each of A.A.’s Twelve Steps. That’s right, all 12 steps. Without humility, not one of us can stay sober or obtain much happiness.

Continue reading

The Trinity of Self

The word Trinity is often referred to the three-in-one Person of the God of the Bible. There is another trinity (lower case t) of my self-centered world. There are three sides to my thinking. I am 1) selfish, 2) self-centered, and 3) live in self-pity. The perfect storm! I live with most of these defects of characters each day, sometimes one or the other is more prevalent, or there are days when I am not consciously aware that I am living in the self-centered world. Ah, before you judge me, I ask that you look for these defects in your life. If you still cannot see it, try a dose of humility.

Continue reading

Burning Desires?

It is just me that some in our meetings have so many burning desires? When I lead a meeting, I never ask if there is anyone with a burning desire. Around me, so many take the concept of burning desire to mean they need and allow their ego to lead once again.

A leader can be sensitive to the group and pick up on the need for someone to share. Just look at their faces and allow God to direct you in picking the shares. Do you pray before and during the meeting to see what God wants to do?

It may be a surprise to you, that I am most likely wrong. I read that in the Twelve and Twelve:

92:2 Finally, we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong, and then we approach true tolerance and see what real love for our fellows means. It will become more and more evident as we go forward that it is pointless to become angry or to get hurt by people who, like us, are suffering from the pains of growing up.

Yep, that is me. Ok, I am like you, and yes it bothers me. I may grow up one day, but today I can express that the folks that bother me the most are the “Loud and Proud.” The hidden drunk-a-log folks, those that repeat their experience and so little of their strength and hope.

All shares have value; some teach me the program, some teach me patience and some teach me humility. Sometimes, I am not teachable at that moment, my desire as I grow up is to become more teachable. Oh, how my serenity suffers when I allow this to bother me.

‘Alcoholic’ versus ‘I am an Alcoholic.’

I am a real alcoholic which means in my recovery; I have alcoholic thinking. I hope one day that kind of thinking would be not so critical of some things.

When I sit in my meetings; we do the usual stuff, and ask people to identify, such as newcomers, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, six months, and nine months. We also do give cakes for birthdays (sobriety anniversaries.) As well as in the shares in the meetings. I listen to everyone, and I noticed this more and more lately.

I will use a name of Bill for this article. So, this person Bill, shares or identifies. I often hear, “Bill Alcoholic.” This identity is slightly off, from what I think I should being hearing. An alcoholic is not his or her last name. I believe we need to identify as who we truly are, like, “Bill I am an Alcoholic” or “My name is Bill P., and I am an alcoholic.” Slightly different, but I think it is important.

Why is it important. First, it is what we do, for each and at every meeting, (including business meetings), so why? Why do we identify as ‘I am an Alcoholic?’ I believe it helps when we are new to understand that we are physically and emotionally different from non-alcoholics, so this reinforces the understanding of who we are. Second, with time, it reminds us of who we truly are.

As well, I am identifying as an Alcoholic to identify with another… Alcoholic.

It is the Essence of Our Common Bond.

Doctor’s Opinion
XXX.5 All these, (alcoholics) and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.

The Drink Think is Gone

The other day after a meeting, (not an AA meeting), I and some friends Anne and Amanda (mother and daughter— also normies) decided that pizza was required. Anne is struggling with unknown a skin condition which makes her scratch. To get some relief, she uses ice packs. The ladies were in the conversation on where they will pick up a bag of ice. Me being me, talk to the pizza lady about ice, I boldly ask for a free large bag. She comes back with a small zip-type bag. She tells that is all the ice she had, and she gets a bag for $2 at the liquor store. I announce I am going to the liquor store for ice. I get an escort from the mom. She tells me that I need help because the neighborhood is bad and I need her protection. Which is odd, but ok. She mentioned that she cannot let her daughter escort me because she never lets her daughter out with guys. Ok, I understand her rules.

Continue reading